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When Your Next Big Meeting Might Break You.

A Raw Tale of Professional Fear & How Discipline Saved My Ass

Let’s talk about something that happened this week.

Something that exposed every professional insecurity I've been trying to hide.

I was sweating bullets over a meeting.

At my job…

I run around 3-5 meetings a day.

I work with legal documents all day.

I have people triple-checking everything I create.

All the while in charge of a whacky team of twelve people.

Not to mention, there are tons of daily emails with problem after problem that needs to be solved.

You might say I run meetings for a living. Facilitate conversations.

People come to me to solve problems because I’m the one who's supposed to have his shit together –

Now, I was losing it over a calendar invite. I CREATED

Why This Meeting Was Different

  • The people with the on-ground knowledge couldn’t make it

  • Legal documents I needed to create were outside my normal wheelhouse

  • New format with specific requirements I'd never handled

  • High stakes (because isn't everything these days?)

Here's where most motivational writers would tell you to "believe in yourself" or "trust your experience."

Fuck that noise.

When Your Job Feels Like a Cage Fight

When you're staring down something that makes your stomach churn, all that self-help bullshit goes right out the window.

You're left with two choices:

  1. Let the fear win (and hate yourself later)

  2. Let discipline carry you through

Look, I get it. Discipline sounds like some hardcore military shit.

But here's the thing:

  • Discipline isn't sexy.

  • It's not posting motivational quotes on Instagram.

  • It's not having a perfect morning routine.

Discipline is showing up when your mind is screaming, "RUN!"

Discipline is starting to bleed into every corner of my life now.

  • The uncomfortable client calls.

  • The difficult team conversations.

  • The moments when I'm way out of my depth but need to deliver anyway.

I chose discipline.

  • Not because I'm brave.

  • Not because I'm confident.

But because I've learned the brutal fucking truth:

The pain of discipline hurts less than the pain of regret.

And that's not some inspirational poster bullshit.

That's the difference between lying awake at 3 AM and hating yourself.

Or sleeping soundly, knowing you did the hard thing.

When Shit Gets Real: Discipline in Action

Here's exactly what discipline looked like in action:

  1. Preparation Over Panic

    • Created a detailed agenda 7 days early

    • Reviewed similar legal docs from past projects

    • Made a worst-case scenario plan (because why not?)

  2. Structure Over Stress

    • Broke down the meeting into 15-minute segments

    • Listed every possible question that could come up

    • Created templates for the legal docs

  3. Action Over Anxiety

    • Did dry runs of the presentation

    • Sent prep materials to all participants

    • Set up backup plans for tech issues

Was I still scared? Absolutely fucking terrified. We get sued when I fuck up.

Did I feel ready? Not even close.

Did I do it anyway? You're damn right I did.

The Reality Check No One Talks About

Here's what most people won't tell you about facing professional fears:

  • That voice in your head? It's going to get loud

  • Your mind will find creative ways to sabotage you

  • Every instinct will scream "you're not ready"

  • Your expertise will feel like a house of cards

That's the beauty of discipline - when fear is having its tantrum, discipline is already doing the work.

The Aftermath

The meeting?

  • It wasn't perfect.

  • There were awkward moments.

  • I stumbled over some explanations.

But you know what?

It got done.

And that's the point.

Discipline isn't about perfection.

It's about showing up and getting it done when everything in you wants to run and hide.

Your Wake-Up Call

Right now, something in your professional life is making you sweat.

Maybe it's:

  • A presentation you're avoiding

  • A difficult conversation you need to have

  • A project you feel underqualified to handle

Stop waiting to feel ready. You won't.

Stop waiting for confidence. It's not coming.

Stop waiting for the perfect moment. It doesn't exist.

Instead, let discipline be your backbone.

When everything else fails, discipline shows up.

Every. Damn. Day.

The Challenge

  1. What's your "meeting" this week?

  2. What's the thing that's making your stomach turn?

Name it. Write it down. Then break it down into actionable steps.

Because here's the truth: The fear won't go away.

But with discipline, you'll learn to function despite it.

And sometimes, that's all you need to win.


What’s one crazy thing you had to face at work? I would love to hear your story!

Leave a comment


If this story would encourage someone you know please restack!


Next week, we'll dive into another raw slice of this reboot journey. Until then, remember: The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. Choose wisely.

Want to join the ride of a full reboot? I don’t know if I will win this game of life…or fall flat on my face…again! Either way, I will keep sharing what I learned through this crazy ride. Join me on this journey, and let’s level up our lives together.

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The Full Monty
The Full Monty
A raw, honest, and inspiring account of one man's journey to reboot his mind, body, and soul after hitting rock bottom in midlife.
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phillip longmire