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Its NOT What You Say...Its What YOU Tolerate

The Trick To True Growth

I know what rock bottom feels like.

Not the Instagram version with inspiring quotes.

The real kind — where you’re sitting in a dead-end job, 50 pounds overweight, drinking more than you should,

wondering how you fucked up your life this spectacularly.

Again.

The Uncomfortable Truth About Change

You know what’s worse than hitting rock bottom? Hitting it twice.

But here’s what I learned from my second crash landing:

  • It’s not about what you say you want.

  • It’s not about your vision board.

  • It’s not about your intentions.

It’s about what you tolerate.

The Tolerance Trap

Every day, you tell yourself:

  • “I’ll start getting healthy tomorrow,” I told myself that for probably three years  plus as I ballooned to 250 pounds

  • “I’ll quit drinking next week.”

  • “I’ll fix my relationships soon.”

But tomorrow comes, and you tolerate:

  • That extra slice of pizza

  • “Just one more” drink

  • Another day of isolation

Your tolerances are writing checks your future self can’t cash.

The Math of Mediocrity

Let me break this down:

  • Every time you tolerate mediocrity, you’re voting for it

  • Each “just this once” becomes your new normal

Your standards aren’t what you preach — they’re what you permit

I know because I’ve lived it. Twice.

The first time, I went from:

  • 8th-grade dropout to Masters Degree

  • Addict to 24 years sober

  • Runaway to family man

Then I got comfortable.

Started tolerating small compromises.

And watched it all burn down.

The Wake-Up Call

Here’s your reality check:

You’re not struggling because you lack:

  • Motivation

  • Knowledge

  • Resources

You’re struggling because you’ve normalized mediocrity.

The Path Forward

Want real transformation? Here's where rubber meets road:

1. Draw Your Lines

  • Identify your current bottom lines - the stuff you swore you'd never do but now accept daily

  • Write them down in black and white

  • Set new standards that make your gut clench - they should scare you

2. Build Your Fortress

  • Create daily check-ins with yourself - brutal honest inventory

  • Establish morning rituals that force awareness

  • Set up evening reviews to track where you held firm or folded

3. Raise the Stakes

  • Find an accountability partner who won't accept your bullshit

  • Put skin in the game - make it cost you when you cave

  • Create public commitments that force follow-through

4. Deploy Daily Discipline

  • Start with one non-negotiable standard

  • Track it religiously

  • Build evidence of your new normal

  • Add another standard only after the first becomes automatic

Remember: This isn't about perfection.

It's about raising your baseline.

Every time you honor your standards, you're voting for your future self.

Your rock bottom can be your foundation - or your future.

The choice happens in what you refuse to tolerate today.

The Real Work

You want to know the hardest part?

It’s not:

  • Setting standards

  • Making plans

  • Finding strategies

It’s sitting with the discomfort of actually enforcing your standards.

Your Wake-Up Call

I learned this early in life and was reminded in my mid 30’s

Don’t tell me what your going to do, show me what your doing

Show me what your willing to tolerate in your life

Stop telling me about:

  • Your goals

  • Your dreams

  • Your potential

Show me what you’ll no longer tolerate.

Because that’s the only thing that matters.

The Choice

You can:

  • Keep tolerating mediocrity and hoping for excellence

  • Or start enforcing standards that scare you

There is no middle ground. There is no easy path. There is only what you’ll accept and what you won’t.

The Challenge

Pick one thing you’ve been tolerating. Something small but significant. Draw your line in the sand today.

Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not when you “feel ready.”

Right now.

Because here’s the truth about rock bottom:

You don’t need another chance to do better…

You need higher standards…that shows others what your truly doing!!!!


❤ If this may help someone you know please restack

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💬 What is one thing you are tolerating that might need to go away?

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The Full Monty
The Full Monty
A raw, honest, and inspiring account of one man's journey to reboot his mind, body, and soul after hitting rock bottom in midlife.
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phillip longmire